undreamed shores

Hey there!

Almost four months have gone by since the last time I’ve visited this little part of my world. Time has flown, change has happened, life has been lived these past four months. I feel like this describes what it has been like:

Have you ever felt like you have such a wide range of thoughts and feelings and things you want to express that you can’t even put them to words? Like you are so overwhelmed, that you may not even know you’re overwhelmed? Or maybe that you are so tired, that you can’t even allow yourself to feel tired?

I want to give you a peek into the last four months of my life.

Maybe you can relate. If your world is changing, whether that is a new stage of life, a new town, a new school year, a new job. I don’t know exactly what that looks like for you- but change is change. No matter what it is.

I don’t know about you, love, but change can be HARD. Even if it’s good.

The idea of an “unknown adventure” is thrilling, exhilarating and challenging. Being somewhere completely out of your comfort zone, somewhere new. New faces, new air, new places, new views.

The leading up to the adventure, the new season is a really fun part. Butterflies in your stomach, endless dreams floating inside your head.

And then you get there. And maybe you’ve forgotten that change is hard. That your best friends are miles and miles away. That a one room apartment can feel really, really lonely. You’ve made it, you’re here, you’re where you want to be. But it’s a little bit scary, it’s kind of hard. But for some reason, you feel like it was going to be perfect and smooth and that the hard things would go away.

I know I did.

I haven’t known how to put them to words, but I want to try.

Hopefully these will encourage you if you’re in this season. If you’ve made it your new, exciting adventure, but it’s not always smooth sailing.

I’ll be the first to tell you…you’re not alone. 

  • It’s okay if it’s hard.
    • It makes me laugh because I’m not sure where I got the idea that I have to always be okay and have it all together. Somewhere along the way this idea got stuck into my head. That it’s not okay if life is hard in the moment– if so, something is seriously wrong. A major event doesn’t have to happen in your life for it to be hard. Your life can be going exactly the way you want it to be. And it can still be hard. God is still good. He still loves you. It’s okay if it’s hard.
  • It is possible to be in a crowd full of people and still feel alone.
    • Slowly, but surely I am learning that the feeling of loneliness does not come from a lack of people, but from within. I think it’s truly believing wholeheartedly inside ourselves that we are never alone. That Jesus is indeed always with us even to the end of the age. Every moment, every tear drop, every second, He’s there. Circumstance doesn’t have to define how lonely we feel. Going from a house full of people to a place by myself is a complete 180 turn. Perhaps having people around hides innate loneliness that we’re created for Someone more, who gives us purpose. God is a constant companion. Tangible or not. He gives us the steady anchor in our hearts that allows to be okay in a room of people or in a room alone. Because the truth is, we never are.
  • Things from your past don’t disappear when you move cities.
    • I am a visual, whimsical dreamer and a metaphorical thinker. I legitimately thought that when I moved to a new city, anything I struggled with or dealt with in the other city…would stay there. Almost like an image in my head of packing a suitcase full of burdens and baggage and leaving in that city instead of carrying it with me. That way, those things wouldn’t follow me and I could leave them there, forget and move on. NEWS FLASH: THEY FOLLOW YOU! And I am learning day by day that is a beautiful thing to look them in the face. To embrace the scars instead of covering them with makeup. Darling, the scars are a part of you. They hold a part of your story, even the dark, ugly ones that you hate to look at. This one’s a work in progress, I think it probably is for most. But it’s one of the most rewarding and freeing things to accept the invitation from Jesus into deeper healing, into freer living. To thank Him for the suitcase that followed you instead of wish it all away. Unpacking each item, as treacherous of a path it may be. They’ll keep following you, until you do.
  • Every single person has a story.
    • My job allows me to see in the ins and outs of humanity. On a weekly basis I feel heartbroken, joyful, confused, even angry at things I see in the field. But at the end of the day, I realize every human I talked to or interacted with or interviewed has their own story. They have someone they love, something they are passionate about, something that makes their heart beat. A dream, a fear, a longing. And it makes my world smaller. Every day the Lord lets me into the beautiful fact that maybe we aren’t that different. At the end of the day, we’re all just people. People who are created for a purpose. People who have a soul, who need grace like I do. People who need hope like we all do.
  • Life is so short.
    • I see a lot of death too, all the time. In the news world, death is a normal word in conversation day to day. Which can be absolutely tragic or beautiful, or both, depending on their eternity. It’s confusing, I still don’t understand a lot of the time. It frustrates me at times and makes me miss those I’ve lost and my heart aches for those who are suffering loss. Most of the time it doesn’t make sense. Here’s what’s true:
      • Jesus conquered death on the cross when He walked out of the grave- He did it. Victory is won and He’s alive.
      • Death lost it’s sting that day and we don’t have to be afraid of it.
      • If anything, it should make us want to shout the name of Jesus from the rooftops and on the streets. To dance harder and laugh louder and hug longer and say “I love you” more. To love people, really love them- to be a little glimpse of the way that Jesus would love them.
      • Life is SHORT. There is GOOD NEWS to tell!
        • “Our greatest fear should not be of failure but of succeeding at things in life that don’t really matter.” – Francis Chan

God is faithful, y’all. His love never fails or runs out. His mercies are new every morning. I would be hopeless without the hope I have in Christ. Even in seasons and times when the world is changing and spinning and you can’t stop time, remember this:

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” Hebrews 13:8

My brother showed me this Shakespeare quote once, and I’ve felt it perfectly describes right now.

I’m sure there are a thousand ways to interpret this meaning, but to me, it means that following Jesus and life with Him is a grander journey than the most exotic adventure we can imagine.

“A course more promising
Than a wild dedication of yourselves
To unpathed waters, undreamed shores.” 

 

 

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