a romantic pursuit

The first sip of an iced soy White Rocker from White Rock Coffee in Dallas, TX is one of my favorite things in the world. It sounds silly, I know. I mean who finds that much joy in a simple little beverage, right? But it is true. I love it. The taste of espresso, white chocolate, soy milk all mixed together to make the perfect combination the second it reaches my taste buds. 10/10 recommend.

I LOVE sunsets. Every time I look up at the sky painted yellow, stroked with colors of orange, lightly brushed with hints of pink, my soul can’t help but rejoice. A sunset never ceases to make me smile and be thankful to be alive in this crazy and beautiful life.

Laughter. My favorite activity and way to burn calories (I mean if it’s a good laugh, that can be considered kind of an ab-workout, right? Maybe?). WHO DOESN’T LOVE TO LAUGH. I think people need to laugh every single day. It’s good for you and it’s fun.

I’m obsessed with people. I love talking to people and hearing their stories and adventures and dreams. I love knowing little details and facts about people that make them unique and different than anyone else. I love spending time with friends who know me better than I know myself because it is freeing, and meeting people who don’t know a single thing about me because it is refreshing.

Darling, I want to let you in on a secret that could change the way you look at things now.

Raise your hand if you have a desire to be in love. To be pursued, to be sought after, to have someone who knows everything about you, from the the weird little quirks to the things you love, to be told that you are beautiful, captivating, intriguing, lovely. This desire is rooted and strewn into the precious heart of every woman, it is the creative and wonderful way the Lord made us.

Last week, my family and I went to a lake to spend time together as a family. We rented a house on Lake Palestine in Chandler and literally did nothing all week, and it was the best thing ever. By nothing, I mean floating in the lake, laying out in the sun, riding around in the jet ski around, and just sitting. Being still, being together. One morning, I walked outside with my Bible and my journal to hang out with Jesus near the lake. Suddenly as I was sitting in a comfy chair overlooking the view, thinking, praying, I realized something. As I sat there, I could almost feel the Lord whispering in my ear, “Meredith, I love you.” My heart was full to the brim with peace, I felt as if I had reached a whole new level of contentment. In that moment, He was enough. I had everything I ever needed because He loves me, He really loves me. Not like that flower in “The Little Mermaid” where she picks off each petal and wonders if her prince loves her, “He loves me, he loves me not.” No, dear one, not like that at all. It is real. The ultimate pursuit. A divine romance.

And I love Him.

I was reading Psalm 103 and came upon this verse (11) that captivated my heart, “For His unfailing love toward those who fear Him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth.” I don’t know exactly where Heaven is. You can’t look it up on Google maps or ask Siri to show you the location, you must have faith that it’s there somewhere. But from my understanding, the earth and Heaven are pretty far apart, perhaps you could even say the distance is infinite. And this verse tells us that His love is equivalent to that distance, so just like the math equation, one equals the other. God’s love never ends.

DOES THAT SEND CHILLS DOWN YOUR SPINE AND MAKE YOUR HEART BEAT FASTER? As I write this blog post right now in this very second, I can’t stop smiling. “Ho Hey” by the Lumineers is playing in the background and I want to get up and dance in the middle of the coffee shop. I have that fluttery, butterflies in your stomach feeling, the kind where you come home swooning like a princess and gently fall on your bed as if you were flying, wondering how this feeling can be possible. The feeling of being in love, and knowing that He feels the same way about you.

In the morning when I wake up, throughout the day, at night when I go to sleep, I know that the Lord is romancing me in ways that He knows I will feel His love. Reading a verse that I absolutely need to hear, listening to my favorite song on the way to work, having an encouraging conversation with a friend, sitting down for dinner with my family, moments of laughter where I can’t breathe and tears are rolling down my cheeks. Just like the little things I mentioned at the beginning, these are times that I feel His presence.

Times that I feel known because He knows me better than anyone. Times that I feel captivating because He never ceases to pursue me and draw me nearer to Him. Times that I feel wanted because my Lord has placed a longing for eternity in my soul until the day He calls me home, to be with Him forever. Times that I feel deeply, wholeheartedly, infinitely loved because He loves me. And that love will never go away.

“I know these will all be stories some day, and our pictures will become old photographs. We all become somebody’s mom or dad. But right now, these moments are not stories. This is happening. I am here, and I am looking at her. And she is so beautiful. I can see it. This one moment when you know you’re not a sad story. You are alive. And you stand up and see the lights on the buildings and everything that makes you wonder. And you’re listening to that song, and that drive with the people who you love most in this world. And in this moment, I swear, we are infinite.”  Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

This quote isn’t necessarily a quote about Jesus, but these words speak to my soul. I experienced a moment like this in Chile this summer. We were at a beach surrounded by cliffs and huge rocks. The ocean roared as the waves crashed onto the shore, as if they had been told to. The sky was bright blue and the sun shined boldly. It was almost as if we were hidden from the rest of the world, amidst a breath-taking discovery that most people don’t know exists, shielded by a place that was ours. I hurriedly threw off my shoes and sprinted to the tide splashing onto the sand that was sinking beneath my toes. As I was standing in the water with wind blowing in my hair and my arms lifted to the sky, freedom filled my eyes, joy echoed through my dancing, and all I could do was look to the sky and gaze in awe.

His fingerprints are everywhere. God’s love surrounds us in the little things and the big things every single day. Through moments, people, words, iced coffee, rain drops, snuggles on the couch with fluffy pillows and twinkly lights.

Isaiah 43:1, 4 “Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine…Because you are precious to me. You are honored, and I love you.”

When you truly realize this and believe these words to the core of your soul, darling child of God, I promise you, you’ll be infinite.

 

 

 

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